December 22 2010, I still remember the first day I walked through this door, the back door to Alinea restaurant. I was 19 and had never seen anything like it, honestly I didn’t really even know much about it. The moment you stepped foot in the kitchen there was an energy that is unexplainable, that similar to playing a championship game, five days a week, 16-18 hours a day, it was so humbling to be a part of it all. I was always nervous and on edge though, absolutely terrified, I think we all were, but it was okay because we were in love with it all. I can still remember the feeling of walking up from a nights sleep of dreaming of the that coming night’s service, waiting in the stairway till the clock hit 10:00 am and we would rush into the kitchen to accomplish a list that always seemed unattainable, the feeling of riding my bike through a snow storm to get there early.
I didn’t really think deep into this until a few years later, but this sort of nervousness has seemed to follow me everywhere. I started to wonder what it would feel like if it wasn’t present, from the outside it sounds like that would be a wonderful thing but all I could imagine is the feeling of being un-present. I realized the reason for these feelings was because I cared so deeply for the things I was doing, I couldn’t imagine messing something up or not doing it the best I could, and when that happened I was devastated.
To this day still I revisit this magical place with all of it’s lessons it has taught me, and all the amazingly talented people I got to share it with. I hold on to that nervousness, grabbing it by the horns, never letting it stop me from doing the things I want to do.